Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Lonely Am I




Surrounded me they did
With hugs and mabrook
Was a day overwhelming
As I stood there and shook

Uttering foreign words
Caused a stir in me
Tears flowed from my eyes
Effortlessly

Was five years ago today
That I embraced this deen
I long for the company I had
Tis now a fading dream

The sisters disappeared
The hugs were no more
Ramadan: I ate alone
It hurt to my very core

My family felt shame
And so abandoned me
I cried so many tears
To my sisters I would flee

"5 years, you should be strong now!"
Naseeha they gave
5 years of isolation
Like sitting in a cave

It's been hard to carry on
I await a 'Salam' - a 'how are you' on the phone
New muslim novelty has gone
And so now, I am alone

I do adore my Allah, my Islam
My faith is certain; Don't you see?
But lonely am I
In this beautiul deen

Anonymous Revert Sister

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4 comments:

rose water 12:24 pm  

Oh this is so heartbraking to read :( Actually I have also felt a bit like this sometimes -- the worst part for many reverts might also be that their family doesn't understand them and talk to them, because the revert made a choice they cannot accept. Allah (swt) help these lonely sisters. After 4 years Allah (swt) is slowly make the difficult things easier, Alhamdulillah.

Sumayah 11:29 pm  

A beautiful,heartfelt post. A much needed reminder for us all to not forget our dear, new sisters.
This was one of our Growmama picks for May. JAK.

SimplyMe 1:04 pm  

Beautiful poem, born Muslims, we forget to think and understand how hard it must be for new Muslims. They are abandoning what they had all their life,looking for the same with new relationships.
Good reminder...

Anonymous,  6:59 am  

I felt like this so many times. Although I am married for 9 years I do not have any children or family here. Last year for sacrifice eid I was completely alone as everyone left Eid prayer with their families and children. My husband went with his friends to slaughter and I went home in tears. I actually thought to myself " I gave up christmas for this?" Allah forgive me.
I begged allah to give me a muslim family, somehow. A couple months later I went to visit my brother in Australia. I met his 2 step daughters who were in a band and had the pub kind of life style. Christmas eve they were asking me questions on islam and by New years day they said shahada. My husband and I flew them to Canada to live with us, so Allah gave me my family! But allah is the most merciful he also gave me a baby growing in my belly! Subhan allah! After 9 years! Thank you allah for granting my dua!

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